I graduate in a month

And I am terrified! I don't wanna grow up! My sister told me I need to get serious and start looking for jobs but is it bad that I really just want to enjoy summer and then start looking? Am I lazy? Or do I just not care enough. I don't know which it is. I feel like I'm over-confident about the job situation. I keep telling myself that it doesn't matter how long I wait, I'll be able to find one eventually. And that is what scares me. I'm nervous that I'm being too nonchalant about everything! It doesn't help that my mom is practically begging me to stay home either. I just can't say no to that woman, she's too cute!

P.S. I'm so unbelievably happy right now (minus the stressful graduation stuff)

Sister Shebby :)

Shelby is without a doubt my favorite person in the entire world. She's the best sister I could ever ask for. We used to fight a ton when we were little, but I feel like that's common among sisters. Now, though, I can honestly say she is my best friend. We don't talk very often, but we don't need to. We have a bond that can't be described in words. She was one of the first people that I actually "came out of the closet" to, and her response was "I know, Jordan. I've known since you were 5 years old and helped dad mow the lawn with your shirt off". haha She is the greatest. She even has told boyfriends that if they have a problem with her sister being gay, their relationship won't work. She is my backbone. She factors into so many decisions that I make. Her advice is the advice I keep closest to heart.

She is gorgeous, driven, talented, kind, funny and supportive. She is everything I could ask for in a sister, and I honestly don't know who I would be without her. She has made me who I am today. I love her more than I could ever explain.

She is what drives me to be a better person. I will always admire her.

I want to dance to this song at my wedding.

Wake-up Call

Awake to the continual beeping of your alarm clock that sits on the machine-painted, fake-wood nightstand and hit the alarm button. Remove the first, second and third layer of sheets and blankets. Slip on your night shoes to protect your fragile feet from the bitter cold floor. Twist the knobs of your glass-room shower and adjust them to the perfect water temperature. Shampoo, rinse. Condition, rinse. Soap, rinse. If it’s a good day, shave. Power off the water with a simple turn. Grab the towel hanging from your metal towel rack, positioned conveniently at the perfect spot inside your glass-room shower so that the water does not reach it even when it is deflected from your body.  Dry body. Wrap body in towel. Brush your teeth with your automatic toothbrush, powered by a rechargeable battery that requires little movement of the hand to guarantee a satisfactory cleaning. Put on underwear, and then pants. Put on undershirt, and then button-up shirt. Spend 5 minutes fixing your tie. Apply product to hair so that it is presentable. Put on freshly-shined shoes. Grab coat. Pass your coffee maker and fridge on the way to the garage. Get into your 4-door SUV.  Stop at Starbucks for coffee poured by someone whose name is unknown. Go ahead, get a piece of coffee cake. Put your Bluetooth in your ear so that you never miss a call, not even in the thirty minutes it takes to get to work. Sit through meetings. Make presentations. Flirt with secretaries. Leave for lunch, don’t forget your Bluetooth! Stop at a restaurant that somehow produces a burger in 3 minutes. Super-size it. Return to work, watch the clock until 5. Leave work (Bluetooth!). Come home to a meal cooked by your wife. Grab a beer from the fridge. Eat your dinner, ask about your wife’s day, ask about your kid's day, think about work, watch TV. Undo your tie, throw your clothes in the plastic laundry basket. “Brush” your teeth again. Wash your face. Change into your pajamas. Set your alarm. Maybe have sex. Go to sleep, in your nice white-picket fence suburban home built from a cookie cutter so as to make it difficult to stand out.

Wake up the next day to news of a tsunami killing thousands and thousands of people, and I hope you will rethink your humdrum life. I hope you will try to feel something genuine.

Girls are exhausting

My romantic view of relationships has turned remarkably cynical. So, if I were to go an extremely extended period of time without entering into another one, I would be one happy girl. But seriously, what is the point. Nothing lasts forever. That's not pessimistic, that's realistic..so get it straight. Also, for the record, I am not NOT not heartbroken over my recent break up. I am upset, but if you were to ask me about two months after we first started dating if I genuinely thought it would last, my answer would have either been "I hope so" or "probably not". I knew in the beginning that there was already too much going against us. I just lied to myself. I loved her, don't get me wrong, but I tricked myself into thinking there was something I could do to make everything work. I suppose that may be the case with many relationships, and that is exactly the reason why I refuse to jump into another one. Perhaps one day I'll decide it's time to settle down -actually I can almost guarantee that will happen- but that will be after I've started my career and I'm living on my own, doing the things I want to do FOR MYSELF.

Dating is okay, though...maybe...

Relationships

They make me laugh.


on another note:

they are best friends and that makes me happy. i love them.

Growing Up

I'm starting to get to know myself. And it's difficult. I've realized that I am always in relationships where I depend on the success of the relationship to make me happy. I'm slowly starting to figure out that maybe if I find happiness by myself first, the relationship will be successful and thus produce more happiness. Get it? I'm not good with words lately, hence the lack of blogging. I need to find my voice again or something.

I can't stop listening to this song.

Dear the God with all the ultimatums

(i.e. "Believe in me or go to Hell", "Say 'God Damn' and go to Hell", etc) I'm tired of all the requirements. So here's an ultimatum for you: Give us another snow day tomorrow (aka Thursday) and then maybe I'll give Church another chance. You gotta give some to receive some, big guy.

Sincerely,
Jordan Snapka (the one who lives in Texas and goes to UTA...that should narrow it down)

P.S. this was a joke. but I would like another snow day tomorrow.

So it turns out...

In order to start changing the way I eat, I needed to change the way I thought about food. And thus far, it's working :) So to all of you trying to eat better and feel better, stop focusing on what you put in your mouth (THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID), and start focusing on how important food is to you. What I mean is that, before my mindset changed, food was far too important. Like... to an unhealthy degree.

That's all for now. I have to go listen to a beautiful lady talk about advertising.

Winter Break has been really nice

But I'm ready for my last semester to start.