Sister Shebby :)

Shelby is without a doubt my favorite person in the entire world. She's the best sister I could ever ask for. We used to fight a ton when we were little, but I feel like that's common among sisters. Now, though, I can honestly say she is my best friend. We don't talk very often, but we don't need to. We have a bond that can't be described in words. She was one of the first people that I actually "came out of the closet" to, and her response was "I know, Jordan. I've known since you were 5 years old and helped dad mow the lawn with your shirt off". haha She is the greatest. She even has told boyfriends that if they have a problem with her sister being gay, their relationship won't work. She is my backbone. She factors into so many decisions that I make. Her advice is the advice I keep closest to heart.

She is gorgeous, driven, talented, kind, funny and supportive. She is everything I could ask for in a sister, and I honestly don't know who I would be without her. She has made me who I am today. I love her more than I could ever explain.

She is what drives me to be a better person. I will always admire her.

I want to dance to this song at my wedding.

Wake-up Call

Awake to the continual beeping of your alarm clock that sits on the machine-painted, fake-wood nightstand and hit the alarm button. Remove the first, second and third layer of sheets and blankets. Slip on your night shoes to protect your fragile feet from the bitter cold floor. Twist the knobs of your glass-room shower and adjust them to the perfect water temperature. Shampoo, rinse. Condition, rinse. Soap, rinse. If it’s a good day, shave. Power off the water with a simple turn. Grab the towel hanging from your metal towel rack, positioned conveniently at the perfect spot inside your glass-room shower so that the water does not reach it even when it is deflected from your body.  Dry body. Wrap body in towel. Brush your teeth with your automatic toothbrush, powered by a rechargeable battery that requires little movement of the hand to guarantee a satisfactory cleaning. Put on underwear, and then pants. Put on undershirt, and then button-up shirt. Spend 5 minutes fixing your tie. Apply product to hair so that it is presentable. Put on freshly-shined shoes. Grab coat. Pass your coffee maker and fridge on the way to the garage. Get into your 4-door SUV.  Stop at Starbucks for coffee poured by someone whose name is unknown. Go ahead, get a piece of coffee cake. Put your Bluetooth in your ear so that you never miss a call, not even in the thirty minutes it takes to get to work. Sit through meetings. Make presentations. Flirt with secretaries. Leave for lunch, don’t forget your Bluetooth! Stop at a restaurant that somehow produces a burger in 3 minutes. Super-size it. Return to work, watch the clock until 5. Leave work (Bluetooth!). Come home to a meal cooked by your wife. Grab a beer from the fridge. Eat your dinner, ask about your wife’s day, ask about your kid's day, think about work, watch TV. Undo your tie, throw your clothes in the plastic laundry basket. “Brush” your teeth again. Wash your face. Change into your pajamas. Set your alarm. Maybe have sex. Go to sleep, in your nice white-picket fence suburban home built from a cookie cutter so as to make it difficult to stand out.

Wake up the next day to news of a tsunami killing thousands and thousands of people, and I hope you will rethink your humdrum life. I hope you will try to feel something genuine.

Girls are exhausting

My romantic view of relationships has turned remarkably cynical. So, if I were to go an extremely extended period of time without entering into another one, I would be one happy girl. But seriously, what is the point. Nothing lasts forever. That's not pessimistic, that's realistic..so get it straight. Also, for the record, I am not NOT not heartbroken over my recent break up. I am upset, but if you were to ask me about two months after we first started dating if I genuinely thought it would last, my answer would have either been "I hope so" or "probably not". I knew in the beginning that there was already too much going against us. I just lied to myself. I loved her, don't get me wrong, but I tricked myself into thinking there was something I could do to make everything work. I suppose that may be the case with many relationships, and that is exactly the reason why I refuse to jump into another one. Perhaps one day I'll decide it's time to settle down -actually I can almost guarantee that will happen- but that will be after I've started my career and I'm living on my own, doing the things I want to do FOR MYSELF.

Dating is okay, though...maybe...