Wednesday, November 10, 2010

As of late, I've really been thinking about what my life used to be like, before.... before.... Well, I don't know what specifically happened to change my general mood/attitude towards people and life, but something changed. I used to be such a happy, optimistic person. I'm still pretty optimistic. I don't like to complain about things. I'm just... lost, I suppose. Perhaps it has to do with my recent break up. 2 years of your life spent telling someone else every single detail about yourself and then studdenly bringing all contact with that person to a complete halt can leave you feeling a little empty I suppose. But I also think part of it has to do with the friends I have now, compared to the friends I used to have. Everything used to be so (and excuse me for this, but I'll put it in the simplest of terms) fun. Well, that's excluding the winter months of 2006-2007 when I laid on my couch a good duration of the time, reading Crime and Punishment and sobbing in silence. Why those months were so hard, I still don't quite understand. That's a different story for a different day, though. Right now, the main point I want get across is that I miss the friends I used to have that are no longer around. I miss the relationships I shared with Reice, Ashley and Erica. I miss being able to talk to them about anything. I miss being able to tell without a doubt that they truly loved me. Now, I don't know anymore.

I know I told you in my last post that I was done feeling pathetic, and that I was ready to start getting my sanity back. But please be forewarned, that does NOT mean that every post will be joyful and carefree. This blog in general, whether the posts it contains are happy/sad/mad/etc, represents my getting my sanity back by doing something that I love, for me, not for anyone else.

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